I have struggled with my weight for over 10 years. Maybe I should rephrase that. I have struggled with self-love for over 10 years. My weight wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t a struggle. Those pounds had won the battle and the war. They had success. And there came a point in which I would accept that. This is me. This is my life. This is how it is. I had to let go of the longing of my old body. My younger, slimmer, double-chin-free body. The image of the body I though I wanted. Too many years had been wasted wishing I looked differently. Yes, there were amazing self-love moments too: looking at my legs when they had some summer color, appreciating the color of my eyes, realizing I had lips to love. There are moments. Like when you take that selfie and think “well damn that looks pretty good”. Of course, it came with angles and lighting and just the right look. But those moments of confidence were washed away when someone else took the picture. That moment when I see myself as not myself. The view of me that I could feel was beautiful was washed away. All I see is rolls, and double chins, and a girl who looked trapped in her body like a fat suit. Not realizing that I was the only one who saw that,  I ran from every damn camera and picture I could. If I was forced to be in a pic, I would use another person or object to hide me. It was like that “don’t look at me” feeling. As if no one would realize I was fat because I hid. I hid from pictures, people, and the world. I missed out on moments. I missed out on life. And then hit an “aha” moment. Not one of those earth shattering, light came down, and the whole world changed kind of moments. But enough that I realized that I was only robbing myself. I was taking my own memories. After a trip to the Savannah, GA I was looking back on some of the photos. We had the most wonderful time there. I didn’t think about my weight while there. I didn’t look in mirrors. I didn’t feel like too much for anyone. I just enjoyed walking the beautiful streets, checking out the sites, and enjoying the food. It was one of the best trips I had taken in a very long time. Such great memories. But as I looked back at the pictures, I realized I wasn’t any part of these memories. I had taken pictures of everything and everyone but me. Without realizing, I hid myself throughout the trip. I was not in one damn picture the entire time. I was so ashamed of myself that I left no memories for my family, children, friends and so on. There was no proof that I was there. In a way, it robbed me from this memory. Did I hate myself so much that I erased myself from photographic existence? Denied myself or my family memories? Think I wasn’t deserving of being seen enjoying myself? Did my weight outweigh this beautiful trip? It was a sad realization for me. Avoiding the picture did not make anyone suddenly think I was skinny. It didn’t make me feel better about myself. It didn’t change my body or size. It solved nothing. It only took from me. So this I will tell you. Get in the damn picture! Make the memories! Show your travels! Your family and friends see you already. They know you. They love you. There is nothing about you worth hiding. You are only stealing from yourself by avoiding being in the picture. Create the memories. Leave memories for your family. Let them see you. You traveling! You loving! You living! You know what they see? A smile, a journey, a laugh, beauty…you. Don’t miss anymore of these moments. Show the world you are here. Unashamed, unapologetically. This is your story. Your adventure. This is you. Don’t hide for another damn second. Be the picture!