It’s a Sunday evening and I’m sitting here thinking of what I am going to do with this blog. There is so much to write about…..being single, being 33, being a nurse, dating in this screwed up day and age, trying out a chemical-free life (which is laughable considering my love of hair dye and makeup), my faith, having my first panic attack ever last year, my insane Italian family….I mean, the list is endless. But then I go back to thinking about the “cute face, chubby waist” saying. Yes that is a from a Missy Elliot song. And it is me. Completely me. Because that is what people see. They don’t see any of those things I previously listed. They don’t see my soul. They just see an overweight girl that is pretty. I’ve heard it all. “You would be so pretty if you were skinny”. “You are pretty for a big girl”. This stupid stuff people say when trying to give you a compliment. Comes off more like a backhanded compliment. God forbid I can be pretty and not a size 4. Can’t you just say I’m pretty? And after all that, I realize I just said pretty way too many times in this blog. Because that doesn’t define me either. There is so much more to know. So as I sit here on this Sunday night, I know I am meant to write about it all. The highs, the lows, the resilience, the blows. Because this is life. My life. And this is what created me. I have learned so much and am still figuring it all out. That’s okay. That’s life. And maybe there is enough in me to help someone else. Maybe I will say something that you relate to. Maybe if we all become more open, then we will feel much less alone in this crazy world. We all hide our real feelings and struggles. And that is what leads us into shame or feeling that no one gets us. I heard a saying last week that keeps ringing in my head. “We are all a former something”. No matter who we are or where we came from, we all have a story to tell. So here we go. This Sunday night, as I lay on the couch typing, exhausted from a day of trying to repair my own washing machine and flooding my kitchen, cleaning house, making organic body butter, and running into a friend at the puppy park (of course, because I was in workout clothes and looking rough, since that is the only time you ever run into anyone!) I am ready to start sharing what needs to be said. Whether it is to benefit me or benefit you, that is to be determined. But it feels time to say it.